HOW TO DEAL WITH CONFLICT
In this article we discuss the nature of conflict, how to react to situations, and the steps to make necessary changes.
I CHING HEXAGRAM 6 “CONFLICT
JUDGMENT HEXAGRAM 6: “You are sincere and are being obstructed. A cautious halt halfway brings good fortune. Going through to the end brings misfortune. It furthers one to see the great man. It does not further one to cross the great water.”
IMAGE HEXAGRAM 6:
The Image now gives us the energy pattern of conflict as reflected in Nature: “Heaven and water go their opposite ways: The image of Conflict. Thus, in all transactions the superior man carefully considers the beginning”
BASIC I CHING ADVICE OF CONFLICT:
In the Judgment:
“A cautious halt halfway brings good fortune. Going through to the end brings misfortune.” In conflict do not try to ignore the conflict by continuing to move forward as if nothing has happened. This means conflict is dealt right away. In energy work obstacles are dealt with first, then one can open potential of flow.
“It furthers one to see the great man.” In conflict get the opinion from a higher consciousness outside the conflict. The basic principle is that conflict is resolved from a level of consciousness higher than the one which caused the conflict. The higher consciousness can be the guidance of the Inner Guide or a person of knowledge and wisdom whose opinion we trust.
“It does not further one to cross the great water.” Until a conflict is resolved do not attempt to make big changes or make important decisions in other areas of life; you don’t know how extensive the conflict and how much energy is tied down with it.
In the Image:
“Heaven and water go their opposite ways: The image of Conflict.” The energy structure of conflict is fragmentation by having energies moving apart from each other. This means that conflict breaks down structures and that is why resolving conflict is not postponed.
“Thus, in all transactions the superior man carefully considers the beginning.” To resolve conflict, one needs to find out how conflict began in the first place. This opens the possibility of learning something and preventing conflict from arising again in other situations. The wisdom in the Image is that “the best way to deal with conflict is to prevent it.” One prevents conflict by learning how conflicts begin.
The four basic attitudes for resolving conflict are presented by the four trigrams:
1. Water trigram below: proceed very carefully paying attention when resolving conflict. Misjudgment can expand the conflict. Water trigram is also being present with the situation as it is not as one imagines it to be. Investigate prejudice, assumptions, opinions or beliefs about the people or factors in the situation. Investigate also if you believe you are always right and above making mistakes.
2. Heaven trigram: strong effort is needed to resolve conflict, find out where it began and what to do. Conflict is not going to be resolved blaming, accusing, or attacking.
The structure (how the arrows move) of Hexagram 6 show that in conflict the arrows in the lower trigram (1) and upper (2) move in opposite directions, while the arrows in the nuclear trigrams (3 & 4) come together. The wisdom is that within the conflict resides the resolution of the conflict. Strong effort is needed to find the points of agreement resolving the conflict.
3. Fire trigram: clarity is needed to resolve conflict. Clarity is needed to determine where conflict began and how it can be resolved. Clarity has to do with mental and emotional clarity. Investigate all the mental assumptions about the situation and the emotional charge affecting.
4. Wind trigram: means going deep to the point where conflict began. How deep one goes? To the deepest unconscious factors magnetizing conflicting situations seeking resolution. Conflicts begin within in our mind and attract situations and people that make it conscious so we can see it with open eyes. To blame others is to refuse to look within and to try to resolve conflict without the wind trigram.
THE NATURE OF CONFLICTS
-Conflicts do not come by themselves, by accident or error; conflicts are administered by the Inner Guide as conflict-resolution is an essential part of fulfilling destiny (realizing one’s true nature as the ultimate purpose of life).
-Conflicts appear when one has all the tools to resolve the conflict. From the perspective of the ego, it may not look like we are ready. If it was up to the ego, one would never feel ready to face conflicts, this is why we know that conflicts are managed by the higher consciousness as the Inner Guide.
-Conflicts provide the element of resistance to change needed to develop extraordinary abilities.
-Conflicts put to the test one’s level of integrity and capacity to cope with changes.
-Conflicts are a signal that radical changes have to be made.
-Conflicts have the appearance of being a personal issue, but in reality, is a family matter.
-The way a conflict manifests has to do with a combination of personal tendencies and unresolved issues passing from generation to generation in the family.
-A crisis is not determined by what happens but by one’s interpretation and reaction to the experience. One’s internal response is what determines what we experience.
-Karmic consequences are generated by the way one reacts to external events. How we interpret the event, the story woven out of it and the decisions we make are the shapers of karma. The event itself is neutral, how we react to it is our karmic choice. No matter what happens we have the final choice on how anything affects us.
-The way a situation is interpreted and one’s reaction comes from the combination of accumulated habits and tendencies at the personal and family level. A conflict with someone is a sign of internal conflict.
-The way of reacting to conflicts includes: feeling victim, blaming, avoiding by going unconscious with an addiction to an emotion, substance, or habit, becoming distracted with a secondary issue, leaving the problem unfinished or squarely facing the issue and doing what needs to be done.
-Conflicts keep reappearing because there is a central issue that is not being resolved. Any conflict left unresolved will reappear in one’s life or someone in the family more capable of resolving it. The problem with postponing the resolution of conflict; is that everything that is repeated is reinforced, meaning the conflict will reappear at a stronger level, in a way that cannot be postponed easily such as a serious illness or accident.
-If a conflict is properly resolved and something positive is learned about conflict-resolution; a new personality emerges that is more experienced, more flexible, and capable of coping with another conflict. The personality develops in relation to one’s capacity to efficiently resolve conflicts; the key word is “efficiently.”
-All conflicts have certain characteristics in common:
-All conflicts are temporary; no conflict lasts forever.
-Conflicts demand maximum attention by forcing the attention on the conflict.
-All conflicts resist change.
-All conflicts force energy to concentrate at the point resisting change. At the point resisting change the energy changes from ordinary to concentrated
-The greater the conflict the greater the energy concentrated trying to breakthrough; this means that conflicts are places where great potential for change accumulates-sometimes to explosive levels.
-Even though resisting change is in all conflicts, in its essence conflicts seek change.
-All conflicts pull to the past, but the resolution of a conflict is not for going back to the past; one can never go back to the past, the resolution establishes a new reality.
-The complexity and scale of a conflict is a sign of the potential of transformation one is capable of and the type of person one has become. Powerful people the Inner Guide presents with powerful conflicts; “the greater the abilities developed; the greater the responsibilities assumed.”
-Power is determined by one’s capacity to resolve conflicts rapidly and in the most beneficial way for everyone involved.
The suggestions that follow require familiarity with some basic practices in the I Ching Dao program. Conflicts appear to put to the test what is being practiced.
BASIC SEQUENCE FOR DEALING WITH CONFLICTS
1-CLARITY OF MIND
-First step is clarity of mind capable of recognizing there is a conflict (Fire trigram).
-Clarity of mind is rapidly attained doing the Foundation Sequence. The more serious the conflict appears to be the longer the Foundation Sequence is done using the long form of the mantras, AUM (LAM, VAM, etc.) SO HAM
-The Foundation Sequence can be done with 50 mantras in accordance to the number of nadis branching out at each point: 4 nadis and mantras at the perineum point, 6 nadis and mantras at the sexual center, 10 at the solar plexus point, 12 at the heart point, 16 at the throat point, 2 at the mid eyebrow and abiding in Akash at the crown point.
-For a deeper level of Akash; after the 50 mantras are completed, do a second or even third set of 50 mantras (Wind & Heaven trigram).
-Akash is spacious mind (Fire trigram) and being present (Water trigram) making room between how the ego is handling the situation and our true nature of Original Mind. Akash is infinite while the ego and the conflict are limited. The mind in conflict is tight, with the conflict occupying most of its space and giving the impression that the conflict is overwhelming. The Akash space made available gives a better perspective of the conflict by locating it within a vast expanse of mind.
-Akash is Creative Energy; the greater the Akash available, the stronger and more efficiently the intention works.
2-DETERMINING WHAT TO DO (FIRE TRIGRAM)
-With clarity of mind and recognition the next step is assessing the situation to determine what to do.
2.1-The first thing to do is framing the situation positively. Viewing the situation as negative will obscure clarity and diminish the power of the intention. Rejecting the situation will not facilitate resolving the issue. The situation is framed positively as an opportunity to clear unconscious factors whose right time has come to be cleared. This step comes from the certainty that everything that happens, happens for a purpose and is in one’s ultimate benefit, even if the ego has no clue.
2.2-The second thing to do is placing the conflict at the center of the personality by giving it maximum priority. The big mistake at the outset would be to ignore the conflict, trying to continue with other projects as if nothing is happening or treating the conflict as something minor; a small spark can burn down a whole forest.
2.3-The energy pattern in Hexagram 6 teaches that within the conflict resides the resolution of the conflict. The next step is increasing certainty by knowing that the factors resolving the conflict are hidden somewhere in the conflict itself.
2.4-Hexagram 6 also teaches that the search for the resolution of the conflict begins with going back to the beginning when the conflict began. Determining at what point the energies began to go in opposite direction.
2.5-Hexagram 6 also makes clear that the moment one realizes there is a conflict, one stops moving further and gives total attention to the resolution of the conflict. There are many ways in which moving further manifests:
-Moving further is anything which enlarges the conflict by adding something that was not there to begin with.
-Adding to the conflict can be blaming oneself or others; that would only enlarge the conflict by adding the element of blame that was not there before.
-Adding to the conflict can be rejecting, getting angry, escaping into fantasy by wishing things were different or going unconscious by drinking, overeating, or smoking something.
-Anything that enlarges the conflict dims clarity and lowers the power of the intention
2.6-The end result one seeks by resolving the conflict boils down to feeling a certain way. Everything we do in life is based on wanting to feel a certain way. We seek love, we seek power, we seek riches, to feel a certain way. We seek winning the lottery, not because of having a lot of money sitting in a bank, but because the idea of winning the lotto promises feeling a certain way.
-The next thing to do is finding the energy frequency/feeling when the conflict is happily resolved. This is easily done by asking the Inner Guide, “Inner Guide how would I feel with the conflict happily resolved for everyone involved?”
-Once the end-result feeling has been experienced, a direct path is established between where one is and where one wants to be. The conflict is simplified by taking out the guesswork on how the situation could end.
-The energy frequency of the end result is the beacon orienting all effort that will be done from then on. The situation is reduced to clearing anything standing between where one is and the end result, we already know. The idea is shortening the space between intention and goal. The phrase used in practice is: “begin with the result.”
2.7-The power of transformation flowing from the Earth is the basic factor fueling change. The next thing to do is grounding deeply for fully tapping the power of transformation.
-Conflicts arise out of unconscious factors seeking resolution. In conflict a measure of the unconscious opens and like a volcano erupts into the surface of consciousness.
-Every family in the world has in their collective unconscious a percentage of rejection of life. When life is good that percentage is inactive, but the moment a serious crisis appears that percentage activates rising to the surface with the person wanting to give up, run away and die.
-The moment the percentage rejecting life is active; the connection with the earth and its power of transformation is weakened and with it the power of motivation and intention.
-Nobody knows how strong the percentage is rejecting life or when it activates. The next decision is the practice establishing the level from “0” to “10” of one’s current wish to be here. The question is posed after clearing the mind and accessing the deep impartial mind doing the Foundation Sequence.
-The wish to quit living expands the conflict by postponing resolving the issue. Running away from conflict is based on the illusion that dying is the end of all conflict. For resolving a conflict, the only option open, is asking what needs to be done to be at the level of “10” wanting to be here.
-The decision to be here is not something under the total control of the ego as most of the percentage rejecting life is in the family collective unconscious. The practices for embracing life fully may look different from the conflict at hand but in fact are a big part of it. In Hexagram 6, Conflict, we find that the structure of conflict has energies going away from each other; rejecting life has exactly the same energy pattern.
2.8-The people one enters in conflict are part of the team with whom we have strong and long-lasting karmic links. In truth, we are in a relation of mutual assistance fulfilling destiny stretching across time and many incarnations. The links are not only personal, in reality they are family links bonding a large network of people.
-Mutual assistance can take any form: from friend to enemy and love to aggression. The end result is always the same, advancing along the path fulfilling destiny.
-Mutual karmic links open the opportunity of rising to the level where true forgiveness is possible. True forgiveness is a high consciousness choice that cannot be done intellectually as it needs to come from the heart.
-The conflict may require doing forgiveness practice from the whole family perspective: asking forgiveness for injuries caused by one’s family to other families and forgiving any injury done by other families to ours. Conflicts with people are in reality conflict between families.
-Negative links between families manifests as conflicting relations, accidents, illness, aggression, crimes, poverty, or suicide. Positive links between families manifests as empowering friendships, timely assistance, mutual support and opening of the heart to new levels.
2.9-Another thing to do especially during crisis, is uplift the spirit by daily reading passages from sacred books. A sacred text from a tradition that doesn’t condone punishment, revenge or holy wars and enlarges on the virtues of tolerance, loving kindness, and compassion, is like a fresh breeze blowing from the second cauldron of the heart.
2.10-In life we always want positive results with everything we do. For cultivating positive results, one needs to have a program of positive action tipping the scales against the force of negative reaction energy. The basic formula is very simple, negative actions generate negative reactions; positive actions generate positive reactions. A program of genuine altruistic action generates a measure of positive reaction energy in accordance with one’s purity of motivation. To resolve conflict, we need a good fund of positive reaction energy.
-No matter what system of practices one follows fulfilling destiny, there has to be a parallel program of altruistic action. We want positive results with whatever methods we practice. Without a program of altruistic actions, the methods being practiced risk reinforcing selfish tendencies. Healing takes place from the second cauldron of the heart from where genuine altruistic action originates. Conflict-resolution is an aspect of healing.
Altruistic action can be as simple as wishing others well to directly assisting others coping with their problems in life.
2.11-During extended conflicting situations; a lot of powerful emotional and mental activity is generated at home. One’s home is the third body after the physical and subtle body. With one’s daily practices the home space is purified, but in times of crisis an intensive program keeping the home space clear is needed.
The home central channel is reinforced daily; the house is purified with the light from Original Mind; the physical space is kept clean; recordings of mantra are played in low volume all day long; one refrains from watching violence on television or other media. Visitors are carefully regulated to prevent conflicting or pessimistic people visiting often or staying long. People who give unconditional support or have experience overcoming a similar crisis are best to contact.
2.12-To easily stay at the second cauldron of the heart, the entire effort resolving conflict is viewed as a training gaining real experience for assisting people one is destined to assist. One’s links with other families includes assisting each other to go beyond pain and suffering in the most elegant and efficient way.
3-STABLIZING (HEAVEN AND WIND TRIGRAM)
-Energy work is divided in three basic levels: first is clearing obstacles, second is opening potential for better energy flow and third is stabilizing the levels attained so they don’t fade away.
-Times of crisis are times of radical change and breakdown of familiar structures. Times of crisis are times of revolution where many things fall out of place. Every day, ideally toward the end of the day, is important to clear the mind and generate grounding by stabilizing the changes taking place.
-The Foundation Sequence at the end of the day, even if done briefly, will assist in clearing the mind as well as digesting and integrating the changes taking place.
-Circulation of the Orbit in the aura, torso and Big Orbit will energize you for the recharging night cycle and the following day.
-Refrain from skipping the practices and relying instead on external substances like alcohol or recreational drugs for changing state. In times of crisis, one’s resolve and determination is put to the test; if one falls apart, self-distrust will increase; if one can sustain integrity, a tremendous measure of self-trust and confidence will be the prize. Victory is long-lasting; failure is temporary.
-An important practice is sleeping the number of hours our organism requires to detoxify, repair and recharge. Sleep needs increase in times of crisis as the organism has to adjust to physical, emotional, and mental turmoil. During sleep the immune system recharges and increases its adaptability. A grave mistake is to stay up late distracted with electronic media or other entertaining factors.
-Do the Six Healing Sounds before going to sleep, to clear accumulated mental and emotional tension. Give emphasis to the organs whose emotional load is the greatest.
-In times of crisis the Inner Guide increases its messages to the ego in the form of dreams. Similar to when bad weather is coming one’s way, the Inner Guide increases its reports of the entire situation, especially what is outside the range of the ego.
-Write down the dreams as soon as you awaken and examine them carefully as they accumulate. In times of crisis dreams come in series in accordance with the decisions being made day to day.
-In times of crisis when habitual structures break down, it is essential to have continuity with the energy practices granting clarity, integrity, vitality, and capacity to flow with the changes. The methods one has learned are put to the test in times of crisis. Do not make the mistake of stopping practice because you are too busy. In times of crisis is when we learn how good the methods one has learned are. Real knowledge, absolute trust, and devotion to the path you have chosen and the teachers, develops thanks to putting the methods to the test during crisis. The crisis is temporary, but the knowledge and experience stays forever.
-More can be said, but to conclude is important to realize that problems and crisis are the creative aspects in the path fulfilling destiny. It is through our capacity to efficiently resolve conflicts that we advance in the path fulfilling destiny and, in our capacity, to assist others to be happy.